USA History
JOKES
You know your day is going to be messed up when...
You wake up face down on the pavement
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better
You call suicide prevention & they put you on hold
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party & there aren't any
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard
You walk to work & find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose
You call your answering service & they tell you its none of your business
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband
Your income tax check bounces
Your wife says "Good Morning George"... your name is Bill
You put both contact lenses in the same eye
You turn on the news & they're showing emergency routes out of the city