USA History
JOKES
Milestones as the temperature drops:
Degrees (Fahrenheit):

• 65 - Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
  
• 60 - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
  
• 50 - Miami residents turn on the heat
  
• 45 - Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
  
• 35 - Italian cars don't start
  
• 32 - Water freezes
  
• 30 - You plan your vacation to Australia
  
• 25 - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming
  
• 20 - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South
  
• 15 - French cars don't start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
  
• 10 - You need jumper cables to get the car going
  
• 05 - American cars don't start
  
• 00 - Alaskans put on T-shirts
  
• -10 - German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink
  
• -15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist
  
• -20 - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start
  
• -25 - Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going
  
• -30 - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start
  
• -40 - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, Your car helps you plan your trip South
  
• -50 - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window
  
• -80 - Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south, Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game
  
• -90 - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets