USA History
JOKES
Really Funny Signs
- Sign on an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
- Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day.
- Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
- On a Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push"
- On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
- Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
- Scientist's Door: Gone Fission
- Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff.
- Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels.
- Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
- Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
- Sign on Fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
- Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
- Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.
- Hotel: "Help!" We need inn - experienced people.
- Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you.
- Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
- Sign in an office: We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left.
- Veterinarians: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
- The Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
- Beauty Shop: Dye now!
- Garbage Truck: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
- Computer Store: Out for a quick byte
- Diner Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up
- Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
- Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
- Music Library: Bach in a minuet.
- Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we'll wait.
- Sign on highway: This road is impassible when this sign is under water.
- Dry Cleaner's Shop: COME CLEAN WITH US AND WE WILL DYE FOR YOU