USA History
JOKES
Really Funny Signs

• Sign on an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
  
• Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day.
  
• Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
  
• On a Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push"
  
• On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
  
• Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
  
• Scientist's Door: Gone Fission
  
• Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff.
  
• Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels.
  
• Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.
  
• Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
  
• Sign on Fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
  
• Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.
  
• Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.
  
• Hotel: "Help!" We need inn - experienced people.
  
• Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you.
  
• Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
  
• Sign in an office: We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left.
  
• Veterinarians: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
  
• The Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
  
• Beauty Shop: Dye now!
  
• Garbage Truck: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  
• Computer Store: Out for a quick byte
  
• Diner Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up
  
• Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
  
• Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
  
• Music Library: Bach in a minuet.
  
• Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we'll wait.
  
• Sign on highway: This road is impassible when this sign is under water.
  
• Dry Cleaner's Shop: COME CLEAN WITH US AND WE WILL DYE FOR YOU