USA History
JOKES
Mom's Brownies
Brownies:
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375
Melt 1 cup margerine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Junior "no, no"
Add margerine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from junior and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Junior again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scrathes sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 teaspoons vanilla, and 1 and 1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13 inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

Frosting
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.
Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know junior had slipped out of the street.
Put Junior in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
Tie Billy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.